Nature News | Marlene A. Condon July 2, 2021
Nature can be restorative, as I learned 28 years ago after my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I brought her to my home to care for her. It was a heartbreaking time.
That year of caregiving was physically exhausting, but the emotional aspects were the most demanding. My heart was breaking and I could have cried 24 hours a day. But if I had cried in front of my Mom, it would have been a reminder of what the future held in store for us, and that was not a good thing to bring daily to her attention.
However, I had to allow the tears to flow at some point each day, which I did by my little artificial pond — my solace garden. Here I found a measure of peace as I cried my eyes out day after day, safely out of sight and earshot of my ailing parent. Within minutes, I’d find the strength to return to the house with nothing less than a cheery smile for my mother.
What drew me to this spot to deal with my grief was the life in and around the pond that helped me reconnect to the outside world. My personal world was falling apart inside my house and my being, but the external world — as demonstrated by all the lifeforms at the pond — continued as if nothing of great impact was happening. While death is an unfortunate part of our lives, the world (life) does indeed go on, even though you might carry the pain of death around within you for the rest of your days.
As I sat on the ground surveying my surroundings through eyes brimming over with tears, my goldfish would swim up to me thinking I might throw them some of the fish flakes they enjoyed so much. Eastern Newts that had moved into the pond swam lazily just under the surface of the water, as if they didn’t have a care in the world. Butterflies flitted from plant to plant by the water’s edge, slurping up each flower’s sweet liquid, oblivious of the beauty they lent to the environment with their colorful wings. Bees worked hard, going from bloom to bloom to gather nectar or pollen, and dragonflies perched on dried flower stalks from the previous summer so they could watch for flying insects that would make a good meal. The resident Green Frogs eventually became bold enough to remain sitting on rocks across the pond from me instead of jumping into the water at my approach, and birds sometimes flew in quite close to me in order to get a drink of water, being not quite sure if I was alive or not.
Perhaps the world could become a happier, healthier, more peaceful, and less stressed place if everyone could find their own “solace garden,” either at home or in a natural area — to get through the major or minor difficulties of each day. Nature provides value to humans in so many ways!